It is an on-going challenge for me to avoid being distracted. I practice walking in my garden, aware of my plants and where I am in relation to them. But I become easily distracted by what needs to be done. I constantly pay attention to what has yet to happen and am easily distracted from what is happening right now. I get distracted by my own thoughts and the thoughts of others. I get distracted by what I would like to do and by what I want to avoid.
For me, walking the middle path is largely about not becoming distracted. Rather than being aware of who I am and where I am, I get distracted by what I would like to have happen or by what I don’t want to happen. If I focus on what is happening right now, I have less inclination to wander off the middle path. I get less hooked by craving or avoidance if I am not distracted, if I am paying attention to where I am and who I am.
I notice that when I walk from the bus to the light rail and from the light rail to my classroom, my mind wanders from one thing to another. I could be attentive to the sidewalk, the people moving around me, the feel of the air. But I get distracted by my plans or my problems. I would prefer to pay more attention to what I see and what I feel. I would like to be paying more attention to how I am reacting, what my body is experiencing, what it is like to be me in this moment.
My iPhone and my computer are great distractions. They take me away from the moment and direct me to other places, to the past, to the future. These tools encourage me to live in the imaginations of other people, in what they are thinking, in what they want of me. I can be so easily distracted by what others are saying or what they have said. I can easily be distracted by the words and thoughts of teachers. I get distracted from my own thoughts and feelings by getting too immersed in what teachers, even teachers like Thay, have said. I want to know more about what I think, even if my own thoughts are stimulated by what others have said.
Even while driving, I want to be more aware of who I am and what I am doing, not what someone is saying on the radio or podcast. It is a hard balance to maintain. Walking the middle path is for me a challenge to avoid distraction. I choose to be aware of me and where I am. I want to take full possession of my life, and not be distracted by what is beyond me . I want to be focused on who I am and where I am.