Much of my life has been supported and helped by academics. A structured way of thinking has given shape to my exploration, my ruminating and my actions. I have benefited greatly by the role of academics as my life took on structure and a pattern. The woven way of my life has given me identity and stability. Now I am entering more and more into the spaces between the threads of the academic weaving.
I recognize that I am learning how to enter into the chaos, the realm of the formless. I am plunging beyond academic structure into the unstructured. Like my garden, I am living more and more in a realm of controlled chaos.
My personal form of academics has given shape and structure to my life. I have followed the structure of a belief system, of a way of organizing my life, of entering every day. I have lived in the realm of the structured known, and the adventure lay in the realm of the chaotic unknown.
I have become open to a whole new aspect of reality. The universe is now considered to be 6 percent known matter and 94 percent dark unknown something. My life feels that way as I open to what lies beyond the known and structured.
This is what entering the realm of darkness means to me. I still maintain a certain amount of structure in my life, but I let go and open to the unknown more each day. My notion of time gives way more to the every present now. I let go of structures that could give meaning and embrace the nothing that lies between the fabric threads of my life. Academics are less important when I am in free fall. I embrace the adventure. I want it all.