Space is where I go whenever I choose. I have not learned how to live there. It is mostly a place that I visit. For the most part I simply dissolve into my inner space. Inner space is both a retreat and an exciting plunge. For me, it is an experience of deep concentration and limitless involvement. Inner space is where I am most focused and where I see how I am connected to all things.
It has been years since I first accidentally fell into inner space. I stumbled into a place where all things are present. Once I learned what that entrance felt like, I found that I can boldly go there whenever I want. All the world around me disappears from my senses, and I feel the most intimate union with it at the same time.
For me, the path to inner space mostly begins with my senses. A single breath, felt in my nostrils or sometimes in my chest, is my first step. My deep awareness of that sensation is the second step. My breath experience as known is the singular focus of my attention. That knowledge is the rim of my inner space.
My mind loves that knowing focus on something as simple as my breath sensation, and my mind dissolves in a rush of enjoyment. It relaxes, it lets go, and the plunge into that limitless inner space begins. For a moment I allow that pleasant experience to continue, my mind all the while focused on my breath as known. I can simply linger there, or I can choose to open to the awareness of limitless space, of infinite intelligence. At that point, all connnection with sensation has faded away. Sometimes, I have an awareness of total emptiness, with an embracing connection to all that is.
While it is somewhat traditional to begin with the breath in order to enter into inner space, I more frequently experience touch as the stepping off point. It could be as simple as touching the top of my desk or a plant in my garden. The starting point frequently is touching someone on their arm or holding them in a lingering hug. In an instant, I let go of all preconceptions and know the sensation just as it is. As quickly, I plunge into the realm of inner space, the place where intimacy and awareness explode.
If I am deliberate, vision can allow me to take that first step. What I see opens me to inner space and the object of my awareness becomes part of my inner space. It may be as simple as looking intently at someone who is speaking, their words becoming part of my inner space. It can be as thrilling as looking into the night sky at the end of my dock and realizing that what I see and what I experience inside of me are the same.
Inner space is where I experience what Rilke expressed as “The darkness of each endless fall. The shimmering light of each ascent.” I don’t dwell in inner space, but I go there often. I experience inner space at the hourly sound of my bell and I touch whatever is near. I often invite each spoonful of my cereal as a taste of inner space, and also each forkful of food that enters my mouth.
I often step into and out of my inner space. I don’t exactly live there but I am practicing.