For a long time, I have been uncomfortable with the word “love”. This is because of all the ambiguity that word carries in our culture. Like the word “God”, the meaning of the one speaking it is obscured and twisted in the mind of the one hearing it. “Love” carries so many meanings and implies so many intentions that it can be a dangerous word to use.
There are numerous people that I know I love, but I am reluctant to tell them so because it requires so much clarification and that explanation is awkward to initiate without losing the true impact of the expression.
Right now, I like the word “harmony.” For me, “love” expresses a state that exists deep inside of me. So does “harmony”, and at the same time points to the recognized and deeply felt relationship with another.
If I recognize that I am in harmony with someone or something, I don’t immediately have to explain what that means to me or someone else. Love demands immediate sorting through a prism of many meanings. Unlike love, harmony does not carry for me the implied assortment of wants, fears and expectations, all of which beg rapid clarification.
Harmony is a state of presence. Harmony does not mean an action or intention. Though it infers a reference to another, harmony describes something that exists primarily in me. It does not invite or require the other to do anything but exist, to be present as they are. There is no pressure for them to harmony back to me.
I do not even have to like or agree with the who or what with whom I am in harmony. I do not have to match cognition with an individual when I am in harmony with them. Harmony is a state of openness and acceptance, not a state of agreement. However, it is difficult for me to be in harmony with someone who is threatening me or in clear opposition to me.
If I am in harmony with someone, I don’t have to deal with all the misleading barnacles that cling to love. Harmony is a simple expression of a state of being. It does not imply any wants, intentions or promises. While harmony requires a great deal of introspection and self-acceptance, it is simply an expression of what I feel and what I recognize inside of me.
Above all, harmony is less ambiguous and even more precise. In addition, I think I am more comfortable telling someone that I am in harmony with them than I am in love. This is easier, even though both mean the same to me.