For some time, I’ve been puzzled over why so many women embrace and support the misogyny in our culture. Why, in our elections, would so many women support candidates who are blatantly misogynistic? Why does any woman support a cultural role that is supportive of misogyny? For me, this line of thought has stumbled on a question of why men would want relationships with women based on a strong aspect of their misogyny?
Today, I think some women support misogyny because they are struggling with self-hatred. They see themselves forced into a cultural role that makes them feel subservient. This is not a pleasant place to be, and they turn their discomfort against themselves for enduring such a cultural role. They yield to all the societal messages that tell them that they are “less than” men, and they look down on themselves. Supporting misogyny is just a way of affirming the self-loathing that they feel.
Misogyny is related to a feeling of helplessness that many women feel. They feel forced into a role of helplessness, and they resent that they and others see themselves that way. They resent that they are forced into a role of powerlessness.
Misogyny among men is quite similar to that feeling of powerlessness. Many men feel less than the women around them. They see and feel the emotional power of women and they feel lacking something basically human. They feel guided and dominated by women in their lives, including their mothers. Some men resort to misogyny as a way of asserting their power over the women they feel threatened by. Misogyny is a way of putting down women they actually feel inferior to. Misogyny among men reveals their deep gender uncertainty and feeling of being inferior to women, another gender.
Besides expressing an unresolved conflict with the opposite gender, misogyny for many lays the foundation for attacks on trans-gender people. Those who are trans make the issue of gender roles front and center for many of their attackers. They remind their attackers of their own unresolved, deeply felt conflict about their gender identity. Their attackers carry an abundance of self-hatred because they are uncertain, even threatened by their confusion about issues related to their gender roles and the associated misogyny.
For me, it is helpful to see misogyny as an expression of self-hatred. Those choosing to live out a hatred of another gender or a mixed gender, suffer a confusion and powerlessness associated with their selected gender. Self-acceptance may be a suitable antidote for those embracing misogyny.