Fun

I suppose it can sound a bit profound to describe a good life as being the pursuit and experience of joy. For me it is becoming more of a pursuit and experience of fun.

Having fun, of course, is typically joyful. I think having fun is replete with joy for me. There is also a kind of relaxed bliss when I am having fun. Joy almost feels a touch stoic and staid by comparison. I relish the exuberance that typically accompanies fun. There is a release of control.

Joy has the feeling of depth and engagement. Fun is all that too, but with more laughter and shouts. No second thoughts. It just exists, with confidence and without reflection.

I often experience joy as a gardener and I think I am moving more into a realization that I am simply having fun. Gardening is no less serious, it embodies no less experience of awareness. Gardening has now more lightness and exuberance for me. Much less thought about success or outcomes, even when those linger in the shadows of fun.

What might have once been joyful work I often recognize as having now become simply fun. The same actions, the same motions are present, but they have changed slightly. Gardening has become a little different. More fun.

Maybe I am simply becoming more child-like. Like a child, I like having fun. Life is more like a playground. It has affected how I meet my friends. I am pleasantly aware that my companions give me joy. On that I am deeply focused. I also know my time spent with them is fun.

There have been many people I have developed a relationship with and they have typically been a source of joy. I realize there was a common degree of seriousness in those relationships that attempted to ground those joy filled experiences. Perhaps it was an attempt at anchoring. With them, I sometimes saw our shared joy revolving around tasks as simple as working on projects or as complex as raising children or implementing programs.

As I age, I seem less connected to intended outcomes in the time I choose to spend with companions. I have less interest in knowing where this is going, what we intend, what we want. I have entered a time in my life when simply living this moment and having fun in it takes precedence.

I guess I like having fun, and that fun is built on a depth of experience and awareness. Is that what old people experience? Is that what we finally ripen to be able to experience? It certainly has become a measure and feature of my life: am I having fun?