For me, relaxing is not just about taking a respite from doing things. It definitely is not zoning out. When I am relaxed, my body and mind take the opportunity to become more focused and engaged in a different way. A different and deeper energy is released. I walk into the realm of wildness.
Relaxing has become a routine condition, a feeling of my body that allows my consciousness a space to exist unimpeded and without bother.
When I sit on my cushion to have a time to meditate, I first attempt to totally relax my body. Body movements help me to become aware of my body as a whole before I sit. Some people use aids like guided meditation to achieve that relaxed way of sitting. I enter into a relaxed mode by becoming focused on my whole body before and when I sit.
It has become enough of a habit for me that I can touch and calm my body just by asking it to relax. I do have to ignore a variety of distractions in order to relax. My mind has become more compliant and can now slow down more readily. It helps if I touch my whole body with my attention, my awareness.
My breath often becomes my focal point of attention, but I first become aware of my whole body from head to toe. It helps to feel unimpeded by clothes that cling and suppress open body awareness. But there are chilly times when a fleece cloak is helpful so that the temperature is not distracting and I can let go into relaxing.
I once did body scans, relaxing each part of my body as it was being known. That was useful training. I now find that a few simple mindful movements are sufficient to being my whole body into a state of relaxed awareness. My whole body becomes an object of awareness and so it can relax as one.
What I call relaxing is actually a state of heightened vibrancy and awareness. The awareness that accompanies my relaxed body is unimpeded by distraction and can more easily let go of shapes and forms. Preconceived ways of seeing and anticipating lose their power and I can be aware of things as they really are.
For me, to relax means to open myself to deep awareness and concentration. The curtain rises,I enter the formless arena more easily. My mind becomes more of a free fall when I relax. I am able to glance into the formless ultimate realm of possibilities. My relaxed body / mind slides into the timeless, spaceless realm, if only for a brief moment.
With practice and repetition I hope to learn to linger in that realm longer. Relaxing holds the door open for me.