As I lay on the padded table, the physical therapist pushed down on my extended knee, then slowly moved my knee cap and joint with his fingers. All the while, I made a focused effort to relax, to let go of the resistance I had to his firm touch.
Today, I am aware that, like so many, I am constantly schooled in resistance to any kind of touching. I become alert at the first signs of possible touching, and it takes a moment to let go of a learned reluctance to be touched. It often takes a moment before I remember how touching is so healing, so affirming, so comforting.
It seems so natural that I have a strong desire to touch and be touched. But I also live with so many social norms against touching. So many meanings and interpretations are attached to touching that it is typically regarded as creepy, excessive, intrusive, abusive ……. the list goes on. Most of the touching I am fortunate enough to experience is none of those negative things. Yet the resistance is there. And I notice a caution in others constantly.
Perhaps I should wear a sign that simply says, “Touching acceptable.”