I am struggling to define what I mean by emotional intimacy. I intuitively know I want it. It is part of my self care, a support for my well being. The closest I get to defining it is that it feels like emotional skinny-dipping with a friend.
I think that emotional intimacy is possible when our circles of engagement overlap and allow for an intimate sharing of those places in us where we feel vibrant and live. There remains a clear distinction of those circles that define us as unique but also not separate. As I said, emotional intimacy is hard for me to define.
As time goes on, I realize how little emotional intimacy I experienced in my first two decades of life. My father, a victim of his time and an alcoholic parent, offered me neither a model or an engagement in emotional intimacy. It was only once I turned 20 that I felt the gap in my life, and that became a quest for the kind of emotional intimacy I wanted to both give and receive.
As I am feeling the significance of my search for emotional intimacy more deeply, I am wondering if someone not practiced in mindfulness can engage in the kind of emotional intimacy I want. I think that emotional intimacy requires a high level of self reflection and self awareness before intimacy can be shared in a meaningful way. It requires the confidence of self knowledge, an absence of doubt, and freedom from hesitancy.
It may not be the definition, but I think emotional intimacy requires being willing to no longer fear the plunge.