Again

What if I never get it right. Could it be that I will never completely empty out my sense of self and allow myself to pour out without the constraints of doing it right.

I wonder if there will ever be a time I can finally let go of all control and expectations, relaxing into the moment, anticipating no particular results, seeking nothing in return.

I want to let go of any notion that there might be a perfect outcome, an ideal relationship, a satisfying garden walk, an orderly kitchen.

I simply want to be the wave that rushes at the waiting shore again and again. I want to be totally yielding to the shore. Repeatedly, I will alter and be altered without any design whatsoever. I want to do nothing but yield to the forces that hurl me constantly against the shore.

I only want to know if it is the moment for me to rush at the shore again. I want my answer always to be yes.