Repeat

Each new morning has so many familiar aspects that I seem simply to be repeating what I have done before. It is an experience I have often these days. The pills I take, the warm water of the shower, my sliding razor, the rug under my stretches, the cushion on which I sit and quietly concentrate. They all seem so familiar, such a soothing repeat. I’ve been here before.

Each day seems at times to be a revisit of familiar terrain. The continuity is so impactful that I begin to see each repeat as the same continuous action. Each repeat seems almost so seamlessly connected to what went before that they begin to murmur that this is a continuous, flowing NOW. The repeat quietly suggests that there is no before-NOW, no future-NOW. Just NOW.

The margins, the fading distinction between yesterday NOW and tomorrow NOW is beginning to be more blurred. The repeats say that there is no need to rush forward, no need to regret what is revealed by a backwards glance.

I only have the present moment to experience, and the repeat underscores that notion. I will do this again and again until the realization sinks in that this is one enduring experience.

I only have the present moment to experience. What seemed a repeat of again and again is becoming a deep well of an undefined present. The repeat is full of no longer real past and of not yet real future .

It is not yet time to repeat. There will never be a time to repeat. There is only the continuous NOW.