Of all the things I have learned in the past four years or so, the most transformative has been my uncovering the power to relax. This is not the relax typically related to watching a good movie or lying on the couch in the afternoon sun. While these activities can be an introduction to relax, they are far more passive and low energy than the relax I now often do.
When I relax, it is something more. My relax is something that invites all of me to engage, and not to check out. I am at full attention.
For me, relax means letting go of all body sensations. At the same time, I have a vast sensory awareness. Relax can typically begin with a willed sensation in parts of my body, and that quickly shifts to a more expanded sensory alertness. All my pores might seem open to receive, but the physicality of sensory awareness has faded away.
Relax no longer means letting go of energy, but instead means possessing energy with a powerful vibrancy. Far from being energy-less, relax is marked by a wave of energy.
Relax for me sometimes begins with my intention to cocoon. I seem to relax in a more typical way of relaxing, surrounding myself with softness and warmth. Then the sensory stimulus vanishes as I shed the physicality of softness and warmth. Relax sends me into an experience not confined by my surrounding comfort.
Relax involves a release of control, a plunge without holding on. It sends me without direction, yielding to an unseen, unfelt reality.
Relax, for me, is like being on another level of experience. It is a reflection of what it typically means to relax, without all the physicality and other constraints. It is no longer what I might expect in relaxation and I immerse myself in a vast place of no-relaxation.
The entry points to this place of relax are varied for me. I have a number of ways to go there. Sometimes it is as simple as a body scan, guiding my sensations to specific parts of my body. Most often, this is focused on the sensation of breathing, and often settles just inside or outside my nostrils.
Trigger words also induce what I experience when I relax. Words summon a familiar experience and association. Mental forms come forward then quickly lose their shape and conceptual meaning. Short poems I associate with relax are a regular part of my daily routine. Words in my head remind me how to let go, how to become absorbed.
Certain kinds of music allow me to relax, especially music that has a past association with deep experiences of relax. Shapes, scenes and people have a similar effect of triggering my familiar experience of relax.
To relax in this manner is incredibly pleasant. It is filled with the joy of a rich , energetic and exciting experience. Yet it only happens when I experience a vast emptiness. It is highly sensual without the experience of physical sensation.
The real payoff is that relax is an open gateway to mindfulness. It produces an open mind that is not cluttered with formed preconceptions and personal notions of reality. Relax offers a free and unsullied experience of whatever presents. Relax may even be a readiness for insight.