I find it interesting how my thoughts in the morning suddenly go to my available food and a quick calculation of how long it will be before I do a grocery run. This has absolutely nothing to do with reality.
The reality is that I could eat for weeks from the food I have without having to go out grocery shopping. Even if I have to ration fruit and almond milk, I can survive for at least another week. But still my mind wants to plan and solve this new problem of scarcity.
I may have to adjust my eating pattern, but there is a lot of food to sustain both me and Lily for weeks. Yet I keep wanting to examine and plan. It feels like it does when I go camping and bring along a limited amount of food. I have carefully planned enough food for several days. But I seem compelled to keep checking mentally that I have planned correctly. I resist scarcity, and I have a difficult time yielding to an unbountiful tomorrow.
Today I am thinking of those homes where people have little food stashed away. They do not have a freezer with many left-over soups or a pantry with beans and rice, as I do. Their scarcity is real and not as imagined as mine. I am reminded of a friend I visited many years ago. She was fixing popcorn for her kids because that was the only food in the house.
Perhaps others are more accustomed to live on the edge of scarcity, and are more adjusted to this restriction of not being able to go grocery shopping. My limitation is self-imposed because of the virus danger. But I still have the habit of privilege, the habit of being very prepared to eat whatever I choose.
I am isolated and I am reminded that I have a habit of grocery shopping that calls out to me daily. Every day I examine, I plan, I think of when I might go shopping.
I hope I will be able to embrace the notion of scarcity, even before I have to address the reality.