I don’t understand this strange and dominant attraction that calls me into a deeper experience. I feel an underlying longing for rocks, for my desk, for plants, for many living things. It seems that my core has an innate longing that reaches out. I am drawn to so many things that I encounter, even things I casually amble past.
This longing is hardly ever as strong as it is when I consider or am present with other persons. I have a longing to experience their presence with the same earnestness I feel when my hunger sits me down before a lovely meal.
The longing to be close, to join my presence with others is strong and non-discriminating. It feels like something more than a simple sensory awareness, though the longing of flesh to flesh is part of the draw. While the longing is best and most easily described in terms that include the senses, the longing is deeper and often seems to ignore the sense realm.
There also is an innate resistance to yield to this longing. The longing encounters a caution, a resistance in rocks, plants and people. They all seem reluctant to yield and suddenly become one. The separateness contradicts the longing.
Where is the secret passage? Where is the entrance that my core longs so strongly to fine? It must exist, otherwise why would this key sit burning in my hand? Otherwise, why would my heart reach out so fervent and trusting?
The longing is such a strong leaning of my heart, there must be another center of this attraction. There must be another pole to this magnetic pull.