I remember very well what it use to be like each morning. I fumbled for my glasses, managed to get them arranged on my face, and the world instantly came into focus. The blur sharpened into sharp outlines, what had seemed a haze became distinguishable and recognizable objects. Thanks to my glasses, my vision improved and my world came into focus.
I had a similar experience when I had cataract surgery a little over three years ago. Every day became a new kind of experience. Now, even without glasses, it seemed as though a new world had come out of the fog. Book titles on the spines of books across the room became readable. The three-dimensional aspect of the room seemed to be deeper and more intense. What had appeared as creamy-white was all of a sudden a brilliant white.
As I was becoming accustomed to the new vision gifted to me by cataract surgery, my mind was also changing how I saw things. Actually, all my senses seemed to find a new sensitivity as the awareness of my body and the reality I came up against shifted and grew. As I became more skilled and at ease with being present and aware, everything I was aware of changed. The way I saw and experienced the world changed.
This change in vision has not come from any special effort or work on my part. Mostly, I have simply let go of my usual way of seeing the world and relaxed in the new experience.
It is what happens when I wake up in the morning now and I slowly welcome the experience of the walls of my bedroom. I may see the walls with my eyes, but it is as though my whole body is aware of the walls and ceiling. I feel the covers on top of me just as they are and allow the sensation to settle into an awareness that fills my whole body. The rough but soft texture of the carpet meets my feet with a new awareness of the floor I never experienced three years ago.
It is a slow, unfolding process that may go on for tens of minutes. Gradually, it brings my whole body into an alertness that will follow me through the day. It is a different world I now live in, that I am at ease with. I meet it in a different manner in the morning now. It is an easy world to settle into as I sit on my cushion in front of a candle, bell and incense burner.
When I sit this way, I am instantly aware of a formless dimension that my at-ease body no loner resists. I quietly slip into an awareness that no longer relies on the sensations that brought me here. My nearly-formless body is aglow with ease and joy. The memory of that formless aspect of reality lingers at the margins of my attention hours later, ready to come back into focus when I remember to summon it.
My vision has definitely changed, and continues to change. I don’t think that the world around me has changed, but my encounter, my experience certainly has. I see people, rocks and flowers differently. I look at them with more penetrating, welcoming and aware eyes. Perhaps, in that sense, my reality has changed. I like my changing vision, my evolving world .