This is a time of year when the invitation to be present can be so very strong. Paradoxically, it is also a time when the distractions and disruptions of the same seasonal celebrations can keep me from being truly and authentically present.
I am trying hard this year to be more intensely present to myself and to those with whom I spend time. This is a time of remembrance, especially a time to remember what I have done in the past. Decorations tell stories of years past, and the memories of past times and ancestors seem more vivid and fresh.
It has also been a time of heightened distractions when I struggle with thoughts of what to buy, preparations to make, activities to schedule, visits to make. It seems that this year I am especially aware of all the emails and advertisements that urge me to buy one thing or another before it is too late.
More than anything else, I think it is a time for me to be present to myself and those around me. For some people, it is a time to live a time of intense presence with family members. For me it is especially a time to experience the intense presence of friends, including the members of my sangha.
I see myself as an intense island of presence. I want to be fully present to myself and to those I choose to encounter. In some ways, I want to be an island of resistance to all the forces of society that would distract me from being present. I want to be a refuge of presence and seek out others that are islands of presence. Together, we will resist the current of society that pulls at attention and creates distractions.
Simply by present, I will be a source of light, like the returning sun. When I sit in a restaurant that offers few options for vegetarians I will ask them to expand their menu offerings. When I look into my closet, I will resolve to go another month without buying more clothes that I know I really don’t need or can go without.
Not only will I be a refuge and island of presence to my friends, I will also be an island of authenticity as I brush up against the winds of my culture. It is not always easy to know what it means to be fully present, but I will attempt to do only those things that feel authentic to me, that allow me to feel like I am really present.