What is it about trains moving on a track that stimulates the feeling of absorption for me? I have the same penetrating feeling when I think about or actually watch my model train move along the track as I do when I get absorbed in the essence of my night stand. It is the same feeling I get when I am absorbed in the presence of a plant in my garden. When I am intensely aware of someone, I feel the same sensation of being totally absorbed. The feeling just comes more habitually with my trains.
In each of the situations, whether with trains, plants or people, I find myself standing by them in a solitude that seems without limits. I am not sure if I am absorbing or being absorbed. There is a felt unity that drenches my whole presence.
I may be aware of their solitude and mine, but I feel bathed in a permeating glow of benevolence. I want them to be all that they are. There is no resistance, no expectations, no reservations. I do not want them to change except to unfold. Their wholeness and mind are merged. In that instant, we share a fate.
With rocks, plants and people, I have discovered the same feeling of letting go and being absorbed as I have when I feel wholly engaged and absorbed in the movement of my train along the track. There is the same thrill of being part of a reality I do not fully understand, but in which I am immersed, absorbed.
Between me and my train, my garden, my deck, or my friends the absorption in awareness seems to be dominated by my consciousness. Even while awareness may be natural, I am the entity that seems more engaged. With another person, however, I am often fortunate to feel the awareness as a mutual experience. Our consciousness meets at a more engaged, reciprocal level. We can be jointly aware as only humans can.
The absorption feels like a blending of the heart, not something only physical or cognitive. It is a blending of inner life, a sense of our mutual desire to protect, enjoy and benefit.
As much as I can feel absorbed in the presence and movement of my train, it is in no way equal to my absorption in my companions.