I am now convinced that mindfulness is essentially an affair of the heart. That isn’t at all what the word “mindfulness” would typically suggest. Even “meditation” sounds like an exercise of the mind, a form of concentration or contemplation. For me, and as the Heart Sutra implies, insight and deep absorption are a lived and engaged experience of the heart.
There certainly is a role for a quiet and focused mind. But it is the heart that teaches and engages. The path to insight is not a cerebral adventure. It is not an exercise in rational understanding. Actually, it largely requires removing the disturbances and distractions of an active mind. Understanding is mostly helpful by removing obstacles that the mind might create by resisting the movement of the heart.
My mind certainly offers signposts that guide the way. But there is a point where the mind surrenders and yields to the role of the heart. That is a point where it actually is better if there are no guiding, mental sign posts, unless for some reason I lose my way and become disconnected .
As an affair of the heart, the practice of mindfulness is highly erotic. Becoming absorbed and intimately connected with reality involves a surrender to the energy, impulse and drive of my erotic nature. Intense gardening is an expression of the erotic, and so is any other experience I might call mindful.
Once the mind gets out of the way, the heart is free to plunge into a place that words never seem adequate to describe. It is a place of rapture, glee and joy. The mind, freed up in this way, is free to observe, to penetrate, to comprehend. But it is, for me, a surrendering to the ways of the heart that makes the experience possible.
Insight is the experience of a relaxed mind, not an active mind. It is not something I can work at. All the mental constructs offered by the teachings of the masters are, ultimately, focused on one core reality. They all help the mind to relax, be at ease as it is led by the heart to a formless place. The insightful mind is no longer a doer but only an observer.
Trying to figure things out might remove obstacles. But an active mind must become still, even isolated. For someone accustomed to live in a world of mental constructs, it is a very vulnerable situation for me to step into. Without the framework my mind constantly offers, it seems very vulnerable to allow myself to be guided by my heart into a free fall into a formless void.
The first times I experienced this, I was concerned that I was losing my mind, losing touch with reality. In some ways, I actually was losing my mind, letting go of all the structure and allowing my heart to be my guide. It has sometimes been a time of fear and concern, but the outcome has consistently been the same. When my mind hands over control to my heart, it becomes at ease and joyful.
The mind may be able to observe, but it does its best when guided to that place of observation by the heart.