Unbalance

I am noticing so many things out of balance.    That includes my daily struggle to bring myself into balance.     One difficult balancing act for me has to do with the tension between the future and the ever-present now.    I know that I need to make some plans for the future because I live in an historic, relative world.    At the same time, I know that the future is simply a figment of my creative mind, and the only reality is what is happening right now.

There once was a time that I thought of an after-life in such a way that it highly influenced what I was doing and experiencing in the present.    I now see that there is no after-life.    There is only what is happening right now.    We have imagined and created this whole notion of a future after-life.    Future time is not my home.    My home is only the present.    What is lacking is the balanced ability to see and experience it fully.

I live with humans and we are horribly out of balance with nature.    We have a lot in common with gypsy moths.    Like them, our burgeoning population will destroy the massive society we have created, careening out of balance with nature.    Like the gypsy moths, only a fragment will survive as nature brings our population back into balance.

We differ from gypsy moths because we can be more aware of what is happening.   Unfortunately, most humans have but a vague and loose notion of the world in which we live.    There are so many distractions, including our preoccupation with the future.    Most humans, including me, have but a loose notion of what it means to exist in this world.     Experience of the real world is barely accessible.

All around me, I see humans preparing for a future populated by more children, a future that cannot exist in the changing world.   Every day I read of someone with lofty notions of how to avoid climate change, when they would be much better to simply stop producing children and grandchildren.     Only then do we humans have a chance of being in balance with nature.

Preoccupation with improbable, imagined and other worldly existences obscures the wonder of what it means to be human.   The earth, however, has an innate awareness of the balance required, and is gradually moving into a new order of things.

I want to be more  earthy and present to the true nature of things.    I want to live in balance with the historical and the absolute.    I want to be more aware of the reality that is here, not some vague future beyond, imagined or anticipated.   I want to embrace this changing world that is moving to a new balance.

I accept the change and do not resist it.    I welcome the change for balance as the reality in which my every day is immersed.    My vision is not on some imaginary horizon, but on the today in which I am eternally immersed.

I do not choose to live in the imaginary world of a reality that exists only in hopes and dreams.    That is a reality that does in fact not exist.    I  choose instead to daily fall down on my knees in wonder and in recognition of the sublime nature of the real world in which I find myself.     It is a world that is gradually moving into a new balance, and I want to move with it.    That is the world I choose to experience.