As I was concluding my meditation time this morning, a word flashed into my mind. I thought for a brief moment what this felt like to be sitting on a cushion, legs crossed, eyes closed, hands in my lap. The word “orgasmic” instantly leaped into my mind.
This is not a typical way to describe meditation.
However, for me, the condition of meditation is so close to an orgasmic rush of excitement, of total letting go, of being suspended in time in space. There is an intense loss of self and openness to other that is becoming a familiar part of my time spent in meditation.
My whole body seems to be in a continuous state of gleeful vibrancy. The rush of warmness, generated from within, fills my legs, head, torso, arms, and hands. My head feels like it has opened up and is blooming like the open petals of a flower. My whole body is open to the experience.
This is nothing I make happen. I have simply relaxed, and my whole body seems to find its natural state. As soon as I quiet my mind, it all happens, like a rushing cascade. As long as I am not distracted by sounds, aches, random thoughts, it all just rushes in. It can take place in a matter of seconds.
I’m a little surprised that I have never seen the word “orgasmic” used to explain what happens in meditation. For me, it is the most descriptive adjective I know to explain the experience. It describes the physical glee that opens my body and mind to awareness and is very much like the experience of orgasm.
My own hesitation to write about this is probably no different from what others feel when they approach the issue. Any reference to sexual delight is simply not considered socially appropriate.
It is a shame that words have such a control over us that we would shrink from using them when they could most aptly describe what is happening.
I am aware that members of my Sangha speak very little about their meditation experience. Is this because the experience is too private and therefore revealing? Is it simply an experience that could perhaps aptly be described in sexual terms like “orgasmic?” References to sexual issues is generally taboo in conversation.
I now that, for me, meditation is a sustained “orgasmic” experience as long as I can maintain my focus without distraction. It is an experience that I take with me through the day and recall frequently but with less intensity at times of mindfulness.
I would not use the word “orgasmic” to describe these random mindful moments I have throughout the day. But the residue of gleeful absorption still infuses whatever I am doing at the time. Perhaps “mini orgasmic” moments is an apt description of my experiences of mindfulness.
I could call these moments “joyful” and be correct. But “joyful” seems so abstract when gleeful “orgasmic” is so much a better word to describe what I experience.