When I invite friends into my garden, I learn about them and I learn about me. I learn how I react to their presence, even while I become more aware of their presence. If I am not aware of their presence and mine, I lose out on both fronts: my awareness of them and my awareness of me.
If I am unaware of my reaction to their presence, I don’t truly understand what is real. I am out of touch. Even if I touch them without being aware of them and myself, I hardly understand what is going on. Reality is in the interaction.
As I become aware of my friends and how I am connecting with them, I am aware of the only true reality. That is the reality of our coming together. I miss out if I am only aware of then, without being aware of myself. I also miss out if I am only focused on myself and how I am reacting.
There can be times that my grasping is so strong that it dominates my awareness and how I relate to a friend. Grasping is not wrong. I simply suffer by losing out. There is no true awareness of how we come together, how we relate.
I spent time with a friend yesterday and it was a time of simple joy of being together. We shared stories of how we are living our lives. I was so aware of her presence and of my own presence as we walked, listened, talked.
We are both a balm and a delight for one another. We are in a common spot together because we are not wanting to be someplace else. We are aware of ourselves, one another and our mutual autonomy. I am aware of the shared pleasure we experience in the time we spend together. It is an awareness that I carry with me when we are not side by side.
The friends that are most able to enjoy my garden are those who are free from grasping and from being grasped. For us it is a simple shared awareness of one another and our common presence. We are acutely aware not only of one another but of our individual selves as well.
We are most in touch when we know both one another and our individual selves. That is how I recognize and relate to my deepest friends.