I get it. I have lived with a word and concept for many years. But it only fully revealed itself to me a little over a week ago. And I expect there is more revealing to come.
Near the end of the retreat, we were all gathered in a huge circle next to the lake, singing songs. Someone shouted out the first words of a song as an invitation to sing it, “We friends……..” I was totally unprepared, I didn’t see it coming. I never joined in, never got out a word of the song because this overwhelming feeling just fountained from deep inside me and the tears started flowing. I knew instantly that I had opened a deeper level of my heart and the key had the word “friend” written on it.
I can see now that this had been gradually arising as so many people at the retreat opened their hearts in attentive, respectful and affectionate ways. Each gesture of opening was an invitation for me to do the same. I was ready when I arrived at the retreat, and the awareness of others gave me all the encouragement it needed. Their revelation as friends gave me the encouragement to do the same.
I have become aware that my friends do more than support and care for me. They help me keep my heart open to the world, they tend to my heart each in their own way. I am realizing that when they present themselves before me they invite me to embrace them and the world with my own heart.
I am aware that my friends are all over the spectrum on this, some able to display the kind of open-hearted encouragement more than others. Individuals show me their open-heartedness in many ways and to different degrees. But what I am only now noticing is that they open my own awareness to an amazing depth. I think I am ready, but their friend key is an important part of my open feeling.
I began noticing this early at the retreat and it has continued to evolve. Even when I think of an absent friend, I often feel their presence down to the bottom of my heart. I am able to remind my heart that my friends are there not just in their assurances and support, but especially in their welcoming and accepting my open heart. The awareness is so penetrating and I have seen it growing for some time. But the thunderbolt only struck about a week ago.
The mindful movements that I do every morning have been part of the gradual change, as I extend my heart out to each of the friends who come to mind. My opening up to their presence at the retreat has taken the awareness to such a depth that at times I can scarcely contain my response to them. They may not even be present.
They allow me to be present to them, and so I am deeply aware of them. The bow between two people captures all this and is felt with such deep awareness if they are open to the exchange of awareness.
I now notice that naming ourselves as friends has so much more meaning and is felt at such a deeper level. The realities may have been there before, but now I am aware and allow myself to feel its depth.
My own recent invitation to become friends with someone has showed me all that simple word and expression can mean, what possibilities it can include. So much is often hidden, but it can now be revealed with more clarity.
Friend is such a powerful word.