A tremor went through my universe yesterday when I opened the email with the attached divorce decree.
The decree was no surprise. In fact, I had been expecting it since the attorney filed the papers weeks ago. It was something I wanted, to bring some resolution and finality to a break-away process that had been going on for years. It was needed, and in many ways it was a completion that was welcome.
I wasn’t ready, however, for the tremor that went through me and all the foundation on which yesterday rested. All the years of work, of joy-filled days, of hopes and dreams, of struggles and painful times, of raising two boys together. It was in a moment set in concrete and set aside. A chapter had come to a final sentence and the court placed the period at the end of that sentence. It was all done, and truly time to turn the page. I paused.
My head didn’t know about any of this, but my body sure did. The memory of my past 30 years was all summed up in a moment, and my body felt the full force of those years. In the opening of an email attachment, my whole person took notice, and my body was moved by the tremor. It is done, and the whole universe nodded in agreement.