The past couple of days, I’ve noticed myself announcing to friends that I’m retreating from Christmas. Now I’m trying to figure out what that means.
The desire and need to retreat from Christmas seems to be rising from inside me for a number of reasons. I certainly have been imprinted with many pleasant emotional links to the holiday. I think I want to stay in touch with them, but with some modifications. I am also aware that there are unpleasant, disturbing resistance and rumblings rising from inside me.
I notice this year that I am repulsed more than ever before by the consumerism of gift-giving. I have tried to address this in the past by making many of the gifts that I give to people. But the dynamics of reciprocity are still troubling to me and often a source of tension. I even get anxious about getting gifts ready in time if I am making them. The idea of going out and buying gifts is so troubling that I don’t think I can do it, except perhaps for my two sons, who will always be my kids.
Black Friday was an extreme turn-off, merchants attempting to stampede consumers into a frenzy of buying, getting good deals. The ads alone were reason enough for me to want to retreat from Christmas. If this is Christmas, I want out.
About an hour ago, I got an email from a relative encouraging me to pledge to say “Merry Christmas.” I am horrified how a pleasant greeting has been turned into a statement of intolerance for non-christians ……. of which I probably am one. I’ve noticed that Trump has hijacked the greeting as a way of expressing his bigotry and creating a rallying call for intolerance..
If saying “Merry Christmas” has become a way of announcing someone’s insistence that this is their time of Christian dominance, that may be my best reason for not using the expression. If this is what putting Christ in Christmas means, that alone is a good reason to retreat from the holiday. I hope no one wants me to have a Merry Christmas just because that is what they are celebrating.
I wonder if I will have the courage to say “I’m not Christian” if someone wishes me a Merry Christmas. How can I have a Merry Christmas if I have retreated from celebrating Christmas. How could I have a Happy Super Bowl if I don’t particularly like football?
I have a friend who suggested we not deal with gifts but instead do something together to celebrate the season. Perhaps we will go to a play, music or dance. That makes so much sense to me, and I will try to put this into practice for just about everyone else. I’ll invite people to come, eat cookies with me, drink something. I like making cookies, so that will fit nicely.
I love this time of lights, and that probably is my greatest excess. Lots and lots of lights on the trees outside. Lots of lights inside my home. And of course there are all the lovely ceramics from my sister and many years past. They all come out, and get arranged in a new way this year. I love the greenery of Fraser firs, and the branches are getting spread liberally all around outside and inside the house. Of course, there is a live tree standing in the living room. I never did get the idea of a fake, plastic tree.
Baby Jesus and the shepherds aren’t on display this year. I have so many other things to celebrate.
I’m still working out how this retreat from Christmas is going to work out for me. My feelings, both positive and adverse seem to be stronger this year, so the struggle is challenging. I want to lean more to the things that genuinely give me joy and stay away from what doesn’t . I want to plunge into joyful things and mindfully let go of things that have lost their meaning and luster.
I have a little over three weeks to work out the details, but already it is beginning to be a pleasant, happy holiday season. Retreating really is growing in appeal.