For weeks now, I have been noticing the flow of energy grow through my whole body. The strange thing is that I seem to be getting more and more skillful at turning it on and stepping into the flow. Sometimes, I even turn it aside, just by deciding to do it.
This experience has caused me to wonder just where the center of my energy is. For me, it is very much a physical experience. I can feel the flow in my head, arms, legs, abdomen……all of it. There was a time I could mainly become aware of the energy in my hands. Now it seems to be flowing everywhere.
I am aware that my navel was once the source of energy for me in the form of nutrition and oxygen. I was connected in multiple ways through my navel, and one of them the flow of energy.
I have recently been reminded how breathing in and breathing out is not just felt in my air passages, but in the movement of my lower abdomen. Like a bellows, my abdomen pumps air in and out of my body. It is useful for me to pay attention to my abdomen as I strengthen and expand my awareness. With my bellows I literally pull in the world around me and breathe into the vastness of which I am a part.
My voice teacher constantly insisted that I breathe in and out with my abdomen. She more delicately referred to the proper use of my diaphragm. Any singing still comes not from my throat but from the depths of my abdomen. The column of air continues to be like a pedestal on which the sound is supported. I am conscious of singing with my abdomen when I am singing. It is a habit from training and I am reminded where the sound is actually coming from.
Of course, the abdomen is an obvious seat of sexual energy. Any energy of a sexual color clearly flows from my abdomen. I think that what I call sexual energy is just one of the manifestations of the life energy stirring inside of me. Like all the sources of energy it is not something that I would want to ignore or allow to go fallow. It is my natural energy.
My life force has various manifestations, but the center of it all seems to be linked to my abdomen. Its motion and flow is something I encourage and not restrain. I want to be acutely aware of my energy when it is in motion. It moves me, and it has its own intelligence. My energy offers insight and when I remain aware of it, it is a source of joy and deep awareness. When I am aware that my energy is in motion, I can skillfully decide if this is what I want to become.
My energy center can be the source of recklessness or unskillful behavior. If I grasp it, the energy can burn and destroy me. It can also be the source of great insight and joy. I am happy, and I take that as a sign that I am in the flow of the strong forces of my nature.
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I’m not exactly sure how the expression “staring at your navel” fits in this, but I think it is something I will give thought to.