Scary

I wonder if I am becoming scary at times.    I am aware that my boundaries are getting much more flexible and misty.   I have less caution about being transparent as I get more skilled at being present.   At least that is how it feels to me.    I don’t know how this affects the world around me.   Is this welcoming or scary?

I think that as I learn to become really present, to feel it through my whole body, my boundaries become less distinct.   I simply put more of myself in whatever I do, including walking down the sidewalk.   The distinction between me and the sidewalk becomes less apparent to me.

Do others feel this when I am talking with them or standing in front of them?   Just because I feel very present to them and absorb their presence, does that mean that they notice or perhaps have the same experience?   Or is it simply scary?  Maybe I should just shut up.

As I feel more present, it means that I feel more real and the energy flows more freely.   I don’t know if that is a problem for others.    I feel that I am revealing more of who I am, and I no longer fit into the definition of who or what others thought I was.   In some ways, it is both an invitation and a challenge for them to relate to me as I actually reveal myself.    No more pretending, no more facade.

I would like to think that mutual awareness goes beyond the first step of simply noticing and observing.    I would like everything and everyone to join me in dissolving the boundaries and go to the next step of becoming one with each other.   I would like us to experience the unity that we actually share.   I don’t want it to be scary.

This is something I am beginning to do but I don’t know about others.    I sometimes feel one with the sidewalk, one with my flowers, one with my friends.   I don’t know if anything or anyone feels the same oneness.    Perhaps I’m just scary.