I wonder if I am becoming scary at times. I am aware that my boundaries are getting much more flexible and misty. I have less caution about being transparent as I get more skilled at being present. At least that is how it feels to me. I don’t know how this affects the world around me. Is this welcoming or scary?
I think that as I learn to become really present, to feel it through my whole body, my boundaries become less distinct. I simply put more of myself in whatever I do, including walking down the sidewalk. The distinction between me and the sidewalk becomes less apparent to me.
Do others feel this when I am talking with them or standing in front of them? Just because I feel very present to them and absorb their presence, does that mean that they notice or perhaps have the same experience? Or is it simply scary? Maybe I should just shut up.
As I feel more present, it means that I feel more real and the energy flows more freely. I don’t know if that is a problem for others. I feel that I am revealing more of who I am, and I no longer fit into the definition of who or what others thought I was. In some ways, it is both an invitation and a challenge for them to relate to me as I actually reveal myself. No more pretending, no more facade.
I would like to think that mutual awareness goes beyond the first step of simply noticing and observing. I would like everything and everyone to join me in dissolving the boundaries and go to the next step of becoming one with each other. I would like us to experience the unity that we actually share. I don’t want it to be scary.
This is something I am beginning to do but I don’t know about others. I sometimes feel one with the sidewalk, one with my flowers, one with my friends. I don’t know if anything or anyone feels the same oneness. Perhaps I’m just scary.