“I am here for you.” This is the first of six mantras. It is for me the root of a fountain of loving kindness and the source of deep intimacy.
First, it is a message that I offer to myself. Before I can be present to anyone else, I had to know what it feels like to be present to myself. My mind had to fully enter my body, and I had to learn the art of being present where I am. No future, no past. I have learned what it means to be in love with myself, only because I have been able to let go and be with myself, mind and body, just as I am right now.
This has been a source of great joy because I have learned how to express, at a moment’s notice, the feeling of loving kindness to myself. A wave of contentment flows over my whole self. Know what it feels like to be present to myself.
The mantra is not a set of magical words but a reminder. It is learned with practice. I have had to learn it for myself. I have in effect rewired my brain. The words are a reminder of what it felt like when I was present to myself, for myself. Perhaps the words have become kind of magical because they can summon instantly the feeling of what it felt like all those times I was present to myself and for myself. I instantly become present.
Being able to conjure up my being present makes it possible for me to be present to anyone I choose. The words come with the attitude: I am present for you. This for me has become an act of love. Being present is what we offer as lovers. It is the gateway to any kind of relationship of loving kindness. It is the ‘giving’ that I am able to offer to anyone I choose.
This ‘being here’ is an invitation for reciprocity, for someone else to be truly present. This is the exchange I gratefully enjoy with a small number of people. It has been a discipline for me not to cling or become attached to this exchange. The more I am ‘here’ for myself and for them, the less likely I am to cling.
Thay has said it well: ” A true lover knows that the practice of mindfulness is the foundation of true love.”