Life may be a gift, but for me it has not been freely given. As generous as it may seem, life demands that I seize it with all the strength I can muster. This is the courage I attempt go bring to each morning. Every waking morning, I feel I must choose life, embrace it, run with it. Life may lie before me as a gift, but I must grab it to make it mine.
It may take me many tiny steps, but gradually I get there. I become alive.
Living is not for the faint of heart, something I realize more clearly as I get older. I want to live boldly without the certainty of how things will turn out. The more I surround myself with protections and guarantees, the more I resist the inherent uncertainty of the moment. Fear rather than living can become a daily routine.
I want to be as courageous and fearless as a trapeze artist who flies through the air without the security of a net. There is no certainty of the outcome, only the awareness of the moment. Promises of rewards, success, or forever love are both false and distracting. There is no net, only the acute awareness of flying.
This is what comes to me in stronger and fuller waves when I move through the day with awareness. Acceptance and immersion in the here and now is my way of flying. For me it requires a courageous act to let go and plunge into the empty, relaxed space of the moment. Once I take that leap, all fear is gone and the courage takes charge.
Twice this past week, I visited with friends with whom I easily leap into the moment. There is no apprehension about the moment or the future. Only the joy of leaping into the moment.
There have been other times I have heard friends speak of disappointment, uncertainty and fear. Those times remind me of the great courage it takes to grab life and run with it. It is not easy to muster the courage that comes from acute awareness and acceptance of the moment. However, it does seem to get easier with practice.