I have been wrestling with repeated and vain attempts to understand time a little better. I currently think it has something to do with movement in space, maybe because I measure time by movement: my own movement, the movement around me, the movement of the hands on my analogue watch. Perhaps time is simply another aspect of something I call space.
An even more challenging concept is the notion of forever. How can there be a forever if there is nothing that exists except now. I am beginning to think that forever is at least irrelevant if not an illusion.
Why should I speak of forever if the only thing that makes any difference is what is going on right now? Perhaps it is only my desire to be assured that there will be something beyond what is happening this moment. There actually is no certainty that the next moment will ever come. At best, there is some probability that the sun will rise tomorrow. The future is hidden in a fog of ambiguity and uncertainty, so how can I even begin to reach some conclusion about forever?
It is perhaps nice and kind for me to assure someone I love that I will love them forever. Our culture has been bold enough to build whole institutions and ceremonies around that illusive assurance when in reality I can never honestly make that promise. There is no love story with no end.
At best, I can assure someone of my intention, at this present moment. In human relations there is no forever. I think it is actually dishonest and unkind to offer an assurance of forever love when there is no possibility I can deliver on that promise.
Facing this reality and living in it makes the present moment richer, more intense, and full of love. It is my one chance to act.
I think that forever is a notion that humans have created because there is such a deep gap in our understanding of time. Like the idea of God, the idea of forever attempts to assure us that there is something out there beyond our understanding. In reality, I have limited vision, and I really can’t see beyond now, that that may be as good as it gets.
Fortunately, the are many moments I can be comfortable with that.