Unending love is the truth. Unending relationship is the fable.
After living in this world for the major part of a century as a human, I am coming to the conclusion that while human relations are finite, love is infinite. I am convinced of this for many reasons, some of which are from experience and some are more theoretical constructs of my mind.
If someone tells me they will love me forever, I’m inclined to accept that as something I can rely on. If someone tells me that they will stay in a relationship with me for the rest of their life, I think they might as well be asking me to buy an unseen swamp in Florida.
I’ve been examining the years of my life, and I have discovered something interesting. There is no one whom I have loved, including those classmates that I loved just a little bit, that I no longer love. All those individuals with whom I had some kind of loving relationship are still intimately connected to my heart. Even the ones involved in tumultuous break-ups. The relationship may have weathered away or blown up, but the core of love remains.
This is quite surprising, and even a little unsettling. It has given me an intense feeling of uncharted openness and unexpected peace. It has allowed me to reside in those lingering aspects of the loving connections I once made. I feel I can open those old filing boxes without fear, remorse or danger. There is no inclination at all to attempt to reopen any fragments of a relationship that might remain. That would be an illusion, a fantasy. I am content to know that the love endures.
This observation has many ramifications. It has given me a new way of hearing the bleating “I went back to her because I loved her.” “I stayed with him because I loved him.” “We got married because we love one another.” I now think those kind of decisions are based on a confusion between love and good judgment. A decision to leave or not go back does not mean that the love does not endure. It is a judgement that it is time to move on.
My eyes are opened more about the implications, or not, of opening my heart to love individuals. I know that if I make that decision, the love will persist and endure; any relationship, by its nature, won’t. The love is infinite and without end. The relationship is a random expression of probability, captured in a moment, certain to change, and by its nature finite and with end.
Love is a natural aspect of being. The priority has become obvious.