When I say joy of touch, I really mean to include the pleasure of touch. I think the two are meant to be joined together, although I suppose it is possible to have one without the other.
I am aware how pleasurable it is to wrap my fleece cloak around me when I first sit on my pillows. I instantly become aware of how soft and warm the fleece feels as soon as my body touches it. The awareness is instant joy. Not a delayed reaction; it is a thunder bolt of deep joy. I am intensely in that spot in space and in that moment of time.
I have learned what that feels like, and the more frequently I feel it the more easily it arises. It is an experience I bring into the simple things throughout the day. My hands touch the coolness of the hard smooth granite in my bathroom. A shock of joy. My feet touch the sidewalk as I step from the bus. Joy! My teeth crunch down on my fiber cereal. Sheer joy.
I have begun to rewire my sense of touch. It is gradual and slow, but effective. I think there must have been a time that I had nearly ‘lost touch’ with my sense of touch. I was hardly at all attentive what my sense of touch was communicating, or trying to communicate. Once I started to pay attention, I found that my touch had a lot to tell me about the world, including my own body.
My hands now can slowly move through the air, and I can feel the coolness and the pressure of the air as I press up against it. I put food in my mouth, and I feel it crunch between my teeth. I feel the bark of my maple tree and I am aware of the tree thanks to my touch of touch.
There are times that I can feel my hands entering space, pushing aside all the unseen fabric I once thought as a void. My upturned hands experience the passage of many fields and the pressure of the atmosphere pressing down upon my hands. At this point, I’m not sure if this sensation is the effect of my imagination or my changing senses. I do know I want to have a sense experience of realities I know are there. My sense of touch is my chosen connection.
Touching other people is a source of great joy, now that I am learning how to pay attention to touch. The pleasure of touching soft, warm skin is only part of it. The awareness of the touch is what brings such joy. A casual touch, an extended handshake, a lingering hug. They are all touches that create awareness and bring me joy.
Any of these physical contacts in the past could have been a simple touch sensation with minimal experience of joy. Now they are so much more expressive for me and bring such deep joy. I think that my mind has reclaimed my sense of touch for me. Sheer pleasure, sheer delight!