Dependent

Sometimes, like today, it is unsettling to realize how dependent I am on my body.   In a very real way, my body is who I am.  It seems to be my only connection to my world. At the same time I have an awareness that seems to be able to watch my body, maybe not even be co-extensive with my body.    Yet they seem inseparably joined as one.

My body has been my gateway to mindfulness.   My body is where awareness begins.   That beginning could be a touch felt, a glance seen, a sound heard.   By being attentive to what my body senses, I am able to quiet my mind and find that joyful ease that rises from a quiet, attentive mind / body.   Mind and body mirror one another.    My presence is changed when they work together in this way.

I sometimes think of how I will be affected if my body becomes so impaired that it no longer supports an alert mind.   I think of a time when the neurons in my brain no longer function as they currently do.   Will I some day slip into the fog of dementia or alzheimers?   I wonder if I will have an awareness that persists in spite of my impaired body.

Being dependent on this body of mine has been a grand adventure so far.   I want to continue that adventure as long as I can.  I want to keep alive in me that spark of life that has been passed down to me from the first living cell.   It is a spark on which so much seems to depend.