I think I have an over-active memory. I know that it occasionally doesn’t cooperate when I’m trying to remember someone’s name. But most of the time my memory is in over-drive shaping my thoughts and what I feel.
I am learning more and more how to better connect my attention more directly to my senses. My awareness of what my eyes see, what my ears hear and what my skin touches is frequently becoming a direct experience. I am a little surprised to notice how much my imagination is active in shaping and giving meaning to what my senses pick up. It is as if my imagination is a translator that explains and also shields me from what I am seeing or hearing. From a practical aspect, this is a useful function. My imagination gets me through the day. However, it also reduces my level of discernment and enjoyment.
My imagination is heavily reliant on my memory. Memory supplies the content and context. I remember my past experience with what I think I am seeing, and that allows my imagination to fill in any blanks. I remember how I felt when I heard a certain sound in the past, and my imagination makes instant reuse of that past feeling.
This is probably a useful ability and can help me to react to situations that could possibly be harmful. It is also very limiting because memory is limited to my past experiences, and can easily make associations that are not applicable or desirable in a current situation. Fear and prejudice are blatant examples of where the memory of past experience can interfere with my awareness of what is going on right now.
When I dream, all those memories are given free reign to fill my imagination with fanciful images and feelings. Without sensory input, my imagination relies totally on my stored experiences for content.
When I am awake, I want to encourage my imagination to take more of a break. I want my memory to function more on an “as needed” basis and not have such an influence on what I imagine is real.
I’m working on more of a direct sensory experience that bases my awareness less and less on my imagination. I want my imagination to enhance the energy and input of my senses, not filter them.