Vulnerable

For me, a large part of being vulnerable is giving up the illusion of control.    I am no longer in charge, or at least no longer think I am in charge.    Becoming vulnerable has a lot to do with relaxing, allowing things to happen without imposing my sphere of controlling involvement.

My being vulnerable means that I am no longer in charge, I let go, I no longer try to hold on to myself or someone else.   I put aside all my familiars and assurances.   I yield to the wonder of the moment.   I allow it to happen.

Mindfulness has become for me an exercise in vulnerability.  I give up the role of controller and allow reality to happen without my intentional involvement.   I totally yield to what is.

The gateway to this kind of vulnerability begins with my body.   Before anything else, I sink into a deep relaxation.   This is something that can now happen almost instantaneously.    I tell my body “It is time to let down.”    It is no longer time to be physically vigilant, not time to adjust, not time to move about.  All my senses seem to become both at ease, but vibrant at the same time.

This is also true of my mind, my attention.    When I let go of vigilance, my mind becomes suddenly hyper-vigilant.   This is similar to my other senses.    With nothing to do, no agenda, my mind becomes more aware.   If allowed, it goes willingly and compliantly where I nudge it.   But mostly it simply stays relaxed, alert, full of power and energy.

Again, this is a paradox.    By becoming more vulnerable I seem to tap into a storehouse of incredible ability.  I welcome the power of vulnerability.