Beginnings

My life has seemed like a string of beginnings.  I have experienced  big beginnings and small ones.   I can think of five times when my life took a significant change of direction because I made a big decision.   It seems that these changes were large enough that I felt I was beginning a new life.   And so it turned out to be true.

This morning I began a new year, and while it is truly a new beginning, it doesn’t seem that monumental.    Just the same, I have expressed my intention to begin being more  mindful about how I live out my dependency on my friends, my companions.

This morning I also began a new day as I chose to become awake.   Then I began to roll to the right and place my feet on the floor.    One decision after another,  one beginning following the one before.   Every step, I suppose, is a new beginning.   Every step is a bold movement into uncertainty.  It has an unpredictable outcome, and I move into that world of ambiguity.

I want every step, every movement to begin an open-ended adventure.   The more mindful of what I am doing, the more I am aware that every step opens a vast array of possibilities.   Each step is a new experience, a new lived moment.

So far, my life has been a succession of new lives on a large scale and on a small moment-to-moment scale.    I have begun so many new lives that it almost seems like a continuity.    But I know each passing moment is as fresh, new and unpredictable as the last.    That is how I want to experience them.