Bars

I remember a time when I went to a zoo and the large and dangerous animals paced or lay on the other side of bars.   I wonder what the lion and panthers saw.   Were they able to see beyond the bars or did their attention go only to the vertical bars that defined the margins of their world.   Did they stare at me or at the bars that separated us?

So much of my life has been behind bars.   Many of the bars have been imposed by fellow humans and some I have put there myself.   It has been a struggle to see beyond the bars, and sometimes I contented myself to stay behind them even when I could easily pass through them.

Many of the bars have been cultural ones, society’s bars that defined what it means to be a man, to be responsible, to be married, to be a monk, to possess things.   The obvious ones in my life have been the bars of religion that attempted to define my world and keep me from looking beyond the limits imposed by my tradition and leaders.   Relations with individuals have imposed limits on me as they defined for me who I was or who I should be.

The irony is that I willingly accepted many of these bars.   Especially puzzling for me is how I have chosen to allow or even caused my world to be defined by relationships, especially those with women.

All the while, I have hardly been able to see beyond the bars around me placed by the likes of culture, religion and relationships.   I have never realized that the bars were an illusion, often nurtured by myself.   Now I know that they have been no more confining than a holograph, and at any moment I could both see and pass right through them.

I am learning that the bars are not real and I am slowly venturing into my larger world.   Much of it is unfamiliar and does not offer the same security I found behind bars.   It is also exciting and inviting.    It is a garden of beauty and delights, and it is all mine if I choose to enter it.