As I deliberately move deeper into a world of solitude, I find myself thinking more and more about what my friends mean to me. In a strange paradox, my growing comfort with my sense of separateness and being on my own is being matched by a deeper feeling of connection and closeness to my friends, my companions.
I’m not sure what the core of this is, but the more I relax in to accepting what “is”, the more I become open to myself and my friends. I am who I am and who I am becoming. While some of that is on the “wait and see” list, I am grateful that I have companions who can witness my presence and my becoming. I guess I am also grateful that they are willing to be beside me, to share so many things with me, to shower me with acceptance.
I think that is what being a deep friend is all about. It is something my friends are teaching me. It means being able to be transparent with one another. No pretenses, no adjusting to fit one another’s designs or expectations. Unconditional acceptance and affirmation. It is more like loving one another than being lovers. Lovers tend more to use their imagination, fueled by their wants.
It doesn’t mean that my companions and I don’t adjust in some ways to accommodate one another. Those adjustments are made with honesty and are chosen with a strong loyalty to who we are.
Obviously a work-in-progress for me. I am grateful to have companions who are working at it with me.