My life has been a tense struggle between wanting to be the same and wanting to keep changing, between keeping and letting go, between permanence and impermanence. I am so glad that change is finally winning out. Each day is a truly new day.
I am no longer the person I was at 20 nor last year. I am so glad. When I see the friars I was in school with still doing essentially the same thing they did 50 years ago, I think “How sad.” I feel like I have so far lived about four or five lives. I have chosen to be the Dungeon Master of my life, and I have created multiple worlds to live in. All are related, but not all the same. I have been evolving through incremental ages.
It seems but yesterday that those two molecules joined together and began the march to the breathing, thinking person I am today. That process has happened in me. My life is truly an instant replay of the last 3.5 billion years. It has seemed like 75 years by some reckoning, but it is all the same.
I am the latest effort of the universe to be what it can be, for the intelligence in me to reach toward perfect harmony. Harmony with what, I’m really not sure yet. The sound and vibration of a bell shimmers and vibrates through all things, including the intelligence that expresses itself in me. This is the thought and awareness that makes me what I am.
I lean expectantly into this day of change.