I am only beginning to know what it feels like to let go, and I am grateful that the experience is creeping invitedly into the hours of my life. I know what it feels like because I am slowly becoming accustomed to meditating, even for brief periods of time. As my mind becomes emptied, my whole body becomes charged with a sensory awareness independent of a specific stimulus. It is the feeling of floating in salt water. I can feel my muscles relax, one by one, as I let go of my body.
I feel a vibrant energy, a life force throughout, an all embracing warmth, a glow. I feel un-attached. I am all-accepting. I have let go.
This is the feeling I want to have when facing death. This is the letting go I want to bring to encounters that threaten me with inner turmoil. This is what I experience as awareness. This is the openness and total acceptance that is my chosen path to loving someone. I am beginning to think it is part of all of these, and I have much to learn about each.
It is the deep feeling of letting go that I hope allows me to open my heart to the young man with drooping pants shuffling past me down Hennepin Avenue. It is the same letting go I want to give to my Son when he sets out on a path that only he can choose. It is the letting go I want to bring with me when I walk with a special person in my garden.