Coup of Mind

I am beginning to get a glimpse at what it means to develop a skillful mind.   This election cycle, for all its pain, has been a good teacher.  Developing a skillful mind, I think, is simply taking charge of my mind.   For me, it is taking charge of my thoughts.   Telling my mind what it is allowed to think.   My mind is no longer in charge, there has been a coup.

Meditation has been my chosen tool.    It has allowed me to take charge, to bring my mind under my control.    I am practicing being in charge, and my mind is getting the message, finally.   My mind is jealous of its power.   It tries constantly to regain its mystery of my thoughts, of my feelings, of my life.   It asserts itself out of habit, and I have to remind it there is someone else now in charge.   My practice gives me the skill I need.

I now see that my mind is something to be mastered, to serve me.   It is not to hold me in its service, as I think it has for years.   Using my mind the way I choose is truly a skill to be learned.   Perhaps it is much like learning to walk, something I mastered at an early age.    Then I gradually took charge of walking where I wanted   It is only then that I truly had the skill of walking.

I smile when I think of all the effort I have made to take charge of my feelings.   All the while I think my feelings were taking their lead from my thoughts.    Now I am working on taking charge of my thoughts, and I think my feelings faithfully follow.   I am taking charge of my mind.   My mind is becoming better skilled at following directions.   I am becoming more fully human, and that is who is meant to be in charge.