Awake

I don’t think I have ever felt more alive than I do now.  There have been passing moments, even extended times, when I felt this awake.   But it was nothing like this wide-eyed awareness that seems to be expanding day by day.

My experience of the world seems so much more real.   That is so apparent in my being with friends or people I randomly meet.   I seem better able to see them as actually “being there”, perhaps in part because I am more “really there.”

I do see a difference when I sense that someone else is really there and is attentive to my presence.   This is what I experienced in a joyful way recently and it nearly swept me away.

That is my challenge, to stay focused on what is real.   To stay awake to the present moment and not be seduced by my imagination of what might happen, either pleasant or not present.

I may be starting to be awake, but I know I will be in training for a long time.   Being awake to the present is thrilling, but it is not always easy for me to stay there.  I have an active, planning mind.